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Taking the shame away from sex, Florence Bark and her co-founder Reed Amber formed the educational YouTube channel ComeCurious in 2015. Sex can still be a taboo subject, for all ages, simply because the majority of people had a pretty poor education, probably consisting of watching animals fornicate and being told the very minimal. From how to feel confident in the bedroom to the big debate about pornography, Florence Bark answers all the questions we should have got back in sex education.

 

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How did you two meet?

Just over 5 years ago me and Reed met on a funny little porn set in London. I was looking for a place to rent, Reed was looking for a flat mate and immediately invited me over to look at the room. I moved into Reed and from then on... it's been ComeCurious ever since!

 

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How did you decide to start Come Curious?

When me and Reed started living together all we did was sit about talking about sex. We'd talk about all the hang ups we had as teenagers and young adults, and from talking we'd made each other feel so much more confident about ourselves and our sex lives! We realised that if it was helping us, then maybe it would help others. We wanted to give people what they didn't get in sex education, real life sex stories, advice and experiences! Advice from two real girls.

 

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Where do you get your sexual knowledge from?

It's always been about sharing knowledge from our own lived experiences. We feel that us talking opening and honestly about our stories makes other people feel more comfortable and confident about sex. Every single week on the podcast we learn something new from our guests. We've spoken to lots of sex therapists, sex workers, writers, self proclaimed sexperts! We learn from every single person we meet and we will continue to share the knowledge learnt.

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Why do you think it's important to educate about sex?

Sex is STILL a taboo in our society, people still feel awkward about discussing it, stigma is put onto STI's, people bully each other about body count. And behind all of this, we have people still left in the dark, feeling like they're abnormal because they don't know if what they're feeling is right. YET, we're all still having sex. But with all these things going on, how are we supposed to be having the best experience possible? The safest experience possible? We need the education to be smart and most of all, have fun!

 

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What was your sex education in school like?

All I remember from Sex Ed was watching a cartoon video about Johnny the condom, being told about STI's and getting pregnant. No one ever spoke about pleasure, no one ever spoke about same sex sex. It was totally WEAK!

WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE TAKE THE SHAME AWAY FROM TALKING ABOUT SEX?

Shame is so damaging. And when it comes to such a natural thing like people having sex, it just doesn't make sense that we feel this way. Where there is shame, people start to do things that they don’t necessarily want to do, or get themselves into dangerous situations. To make sex safer we need to get rid of shame. It's just harmful all around, to our mental and physical health too.

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Some people think porn sets unrealistic standards for sex, what do you think about porn?

I think the problem is, people go to porn for their sex education. But they're not educated on what porn actually is. The fact that it's not real, that things don’t actually work as they seem in the videos. Porn isn't BAD, but it isn’t sex education. Porn can be a healthy way to explore your kinks and fantasies in the future. Young people these days have been watching so much hard core porn that when it actually comes down to having sex, they're not turned on by their partner. Porn is fine, but we needed to be educated about it. And also people need to know that there is porn out there that actually does depict real sex, it's not all the misogynistic stuff you see on the tube sites.

 

What was it like to construct your own porn video?

We wanted to make content that shows REAL sex and REAL people! And also to make a video that people can actually take something away from, not just porn for a wank, but literally sex education!

 

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You and Reed went on a swingers resort weekend, how was that?

I think it was just learning about this culture that I had no idea about. I've always been into monogamous relationships, and never understood how people can be open and have sex with other people. But it was SO amazing to see so many couples in love being able to share their excitement for sex and be able to explore outside of their relationship. I saw how much trust people had in each other. It was so inspiring!

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What are your top tips for feeling confident in the bedroom?

Discovering what you DO love about yourself. Looking in the mirror and finding your favourite assets! There is ALWAYS something! Sexy new underwear never goes amiss too. Finding what makes you feel comfortable, confident and sexy! And if you're still stuck, fake it till you make it! Some how that always works?!

 

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Some women feel unfulfilled in sex, what advice would you give those women?

TELL ME ABOUT IT! Yes, this is a huge problem, and its all because of sex education. If we were taught that sex ended when a guy climaxes...what do we expect. They don't know. We need to learn how to communicate that sex is about pleasure for both people. My advice would be that talking to your partner about any issues you're having. Communication is the most important thing when it comes to sex and relationships. Talk about how you like to be pleasured and explore together!

 

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What would you tell a couple who are trying to spice up their sex life to do?

Always trying and evolve your sex life, never live in the past. Communicate with each other any new sexual fantasies or desires! Toys are a great way to explore new things! Role play! Make sex fun and exciting. And most of all, make sure you have time for it.

 

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You've got the Youtube channel and the podcast, what's next for Come Curious?

We're setting up merch!! So excited. We're trying to get out there on your TV screens. Hosting/ presenting. Live talks! Hopefully a US podcast tour at some point next year!