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Let’s face it, adulting is a bit shit. Transitioning into adulthood is essentially life chucking responsibilities, emotions, and hormones at you, without any ways to deal with them. That’s where I come in; an untrained and highly unqualified teen, giving you answers and advice, that you probably shouldn’t take.

 

How do I get out of being stuck in a rut? - Amy, 19

Acceptance is key. You can’t move forward without accepting your current headspace. For me, I’m usually stuck in a rut creatively, so I find the only way to escape this is to scrap my work and come at it with an alternative perspective. If you’re stuck in a rut in regards to your social life, try going out with a new group of people or try new activities that you wouldn’t normally do. Change is super necessary! Even if you’re someone who loves the same old routine, why not switch up something as simple as your breakfast. It might sound boring, but small changes can alter the way you feel and think. If none of that works (which from my expert opinion of becoming an adult…it will), you may be stuck in an endless rut for the rest of your days. Sorry, that sucks.

 

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I don’t like giving head to my boyfriend and am running out of excuses. Do I just tell him? - Anon

The key to amazing sex, for both parties involved, is communication. Foreplay is just as significant as the main act, but if you’re not feeling it, you should in no way feel pressured to do it. Be honest with your boyfriend and tell him how you’re feeling. He might surprise you…maybe he’s never been a fan of blowjobs? But the point is you won’t know unless you talk about it. Anal play or joint masturbation are just a few other options if fellatio isn’t your thing. Different people like different things, so it’s totally normal if you and your partner don’t like the same sexual acts…you just have to figure out what’s best for you both.

 

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What tips do you have on starting a completely new career path? - Anon

Research…a lot. Job descriptions sound great on paper because they are highly glamourised. If they claim you will 'play a significant role within photoshoots’, it probably means you’ll be steaming the clothes or making the photographer a cuppa. But if you’re feeling slightly under-qualified in a new career path, take advantage of online courses. There are a handful of websites that offer free trials for video courses, which add impressive skills to your CV. I think the main thing is to be open-minded and confident. Just go for it. Life is way too short to waste sitting in a beige office listening to Helen from accounting complain about her overweight husband all day.

 

 

Does it make you a slut/man-whore for wanting to sleep with different people/not have a partner? - Faye, 21

Absolutely NOT. I cannot stand negative labels like “slut”, you’re just sexually woke! You don’t have to get emotionally attached to someone just because you’ve shared a bed. That does not make you a bad person. Sex is fun and should be enjoyed – not everyone is a relationship person and the most important figure in your life should be yourself, so be selfish. Indulge in what you want to do and feel no guilt. Painfully, having a high ‘body count’ is still a lingering issue for some, but honestly, if your partner shames you for having experience, they’re probably a jealous virgin.

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Do you think people learn to deal with anxiety or it just fades away over time? - Joey, 21

Unfortunately, there is no cure for anxiety and it comes and goes, meaning that for most people it won’t ever just fade away. But on the bright side, there are loads of tips and tools that can aid a person when dealing with their anxiety. The tough part is finding the particular trick that works for you. It’s easy to read and dismiss the first ‘top 5 ways to get rid of an anxiety attack’ you find on google, because those suggestions may not work for you. But once you’ve found the little things that help, you can at least feel a bit more in control of your anxiety.

 

 

How do I keep sex fun and exciting in my relationship - Anon

Sex is a crucial part of a relationship. If you find that sex is becoming mundane and boring, it’s time to spice it up. If either of you watches porn, talk about what you like about it or even better, watch porn together! Discuss with your partner both of your sexual fantasies, this allows you to incorporate those desires into your sex lives. Another great thing to bring into the bedroom are toys. I’m not saying you have to buy yourself a terrifying 15” strap on. If you feel timid, start small. There are plenty of online sex toy shops that have curated ‘beginner bundles’ of toys for couples trying to increase the heat in the bedroom. As long as you communicate and both of you feel comfortable, don’t be afraid to stray away from vanilla sex.

 

Have you got any heated questions you want answers to? Maybe your girlfriend keeps asking you to find her clitoris and you have no fucking clue what that even is? Maybe your friendship with your life long bestie is crumbling and you don’t know why? Feel free to send your queries to g@4thbasemagazine.co.uk or send us a message on our Instagram @4thbasemag!